This past Sunday, I preached a message called “Warriors Arise: The Father Who Made a Difference.” But long before I could ever speak that message into a microphone, God spoke it into my life—through pain, through struggle, through fatherhood, and through the scars I still carry.

The Absence That Left a Mark

I didn’t grow up with a picture-perfect example of a father. Truth is, there were gaps—gaps in time, in presence, in connection. And like so many boys, I learned how to survive the silence. I learned how to toughen up, how to stuff it down, and how to function with a heart that was still bleeding behind a hardened face.

But wounds left untreated don’t heal…

They deepen.

They shape how you see yourself.

They echo into how you treat others.

I spent years carrying that weight into every room, especially into the prison cell, where I hit rock bottom and met grace for the first time. I realized then that you don’t become a warrior by avoiding pain, you become one by fighting through it.

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The Father Who Fought for His Daughter

In Mark 5, we meet Jairus—a synagogue leader, a father, and a man facing what looked like the death of hope. His daughter was dying. And in his desperation…

Jairus did what many men today struggle to do:

• He went to Jesus.
• He worshipped even in pain.
• He walked with Jesus, even when it looked too late.
• He witnessed a miracle.

That man speaks to me. Because I’ve been that father, scared but refusing to quit. I’ve been the man watching my kids and wondering if I was enough. I’ve asked myself: Can I really lead when I never had someone lead me?

And Jesus, in His mercy, always answered:

“Yes, through Me, you can.”

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Becoming the Father I Never Had

God gave me kids not because I had it all figured out, but because He knew I’d fight to give them what I never had.

Every hug I give them is healing for me.

Every bedtime prayer is breaking generational silence.

Every time I choose presence over distraction, I’m writing a new story.

It’s not easy. Some days I still feel like that kid—unsure, second-guessing, hoping I’m doing it right. But every time I show up, I hear a whisper in my spirit:

“This is what warriors do.”

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To the Men Still in the Fight

You may not feel like a warrior. You may feel like you’re barely holding it together. Maybe you’ve made mistakes. Maybe you’re carrying regrets. But I’m here to tell you:

• God sees you.
• God is not done with you.
• And God can use you—even with your wounds.

That’s why at the end of Sunday’s message, we handed out Band-Aids to every man who came to the altar. Not as a gimmick—but as a symbol of survival. A reminder that even warriors bleed. And even bleeding warriors keep fighting.

So to every father, father figure, mentor, coach, leader, or man trying to figure it out:

Warrior, arise…

Keep fighting for your faith.

Keep fighting for your family.

Keep fighting for your future.

From one wounded warrior to another—this is your divine setup.

Not the end. Not the curse. But the calling.

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Stay in the Fight!

Shawn O’Neill

From Prison to Pulpit. From Wounded to Warrior.